Christy Innouvong-Thornton (she/her/hers) is a first-generation Lao-American and was born and raised in Seattle, WA. She's the daughter of refugee immigrants from Luang Prabang, and Savannakhet, Laos and Nongkhai, Thailand. She is the Founder of Tuk Tuk Box, a specialty food retailer offering curated Southeast Asian subscription boxes and products. She is also the Co-Founder of Courageous Kitchen.
Christy talks to us about being the daughter of refugee parents who were sponsored by white Mormon families and found inspiration in her dad's sponsor who she calls "grandma" to be a leader in her community and to always be compassionately giving, which lead her to creating a non-profit Courageous Kitchen. She talks about her passion on critical race theory and on advocating for racial allyship, and undoing anti-blackness and white saviorism in the Southeast Asian American community.
1. How do you identify yourself (ethnically or culturally)?
I am a proud Lao Isan American daughter of refugees. My family escaped Laos by crossing the Mekong River on a banana tree trunk after the Secret War. They were eventually sponsored by white Mormon families in Seattle, Washington where I was born. I grew up not identifying with my Lao side at all- I was ashamed of it actually. It wasn’t until my late teens where I started my journey of self discovery.
I am also a wife, a sister, a badass aunt, a friend, and global citizen. When people ask me who I am or what I identify with, I really try to strip all the tangible layers and ask myself, “who are you at your core?” or “what does your soul look like?” I’m learning to let go of attachments, which is the ultimate goal, but so hard to do in the modern West. We are constantly comparing ourselves and consumed by “things” but what purpose do we have if not to do good and be good?
We attach ourselves to the ideas of labels for our own ego and it’s a really fine line to toggle between humility and honoring your self worth.
2. What is Tuk Tuk Box?
Tuk Tuk Box has been a dream of mine for nearly a decade. In 2013 I moved to Bangkok, Thailand and shortly after began hosting pop-ups, teaching cooking classes, and working with refugee families through the non-profit I co-founded, Courageous Kitchen. Through my non-profit I was able to learn about my own family’s history and their escape from Laos after the Secret War. I saw the parallels between the children I was working with and myself and my interest in human rights and immigration really piqued from there.
I eventually moved back to the US and continued working in advocacy in addition to teaching. During the pandemic all of my classes and clients dried up, but people were still craving the food I had been making. I began sending out food kits with all of my favorite Southeast Asian ingredients, like fish sauce, makrut lime leaves, and dried galangal to friends across the country.
"I love that I wake up and work when I want. For myself, on my own terms. I love that I’ve been able to combine my passion for food and community to build a platform for social change. "
With the demand, I figured why not make this a regular thing? People stuck at home, craving food and travel but often not in places where Southeast Asian, let alone Asian ingredients were accessible was nearly impossible. That's when I called Beatriz and she suggested we turn it into a subscription box model -- it was more sustainable and could provide a deeper impact!
We owe it to our ancestors to stand tall and thrive while being purposeful in our actions, and be passionate about serving our people. We are privileged to be able to activate people through our voices and our brand. I love that I wake up and work when I want. For myself, on my own terms. I love that I’ve been able to combine my passion for food and community to build a platform for social change. I love that by sharing stories of the community, I’m also sharing that of my own family and hope that my work will resonate with other Southeast Asians.
3. What causes or issues in the US / world affecting the Southeast Asian community are you passionate about, would like to see change or more advocacy in?
I have always been passionate about immigration and refugee rights. I remember going to the courthouse when I was little watching Southeast Asian families receive their citizenship. My dad’s sponsor, who I affectionately called grandma, was a caretaker in the Southeast Asian American community. She was always driving people to their medical appointments, the immigration office, or church- you name it. She set the tone for me to be a leader in my community and to always be compassionately giving -- even if it meant to the detriment of herself. Although she was not Southeast Asian American, I saw the impact she had on people and I realized how important her being an ally was. Oftentimes, she was their first friend when they came to the US, and I’ve since had the privilege of welcoming many families during their integration process.
When I lived in Thailand, I began to really deep dive into my career and began working with refugee families from all over the world such as Vietnam, Sri Lanka, and Sudan. All of these innocent people were fleeing circumstances they had no control of. I also saw the toll it took on their physical and mental health. I spent my time cooking in their homes, visiting detainees in the immigration jail, and hiding in the red light districts trying to aid women and children victims of domestic violence and trafficking.
"I am also very passionate about critical race theory, a practice that combats and resists structural racism, acknowledging that it is not biologically real, but socially constructed."
It really took a toll on me, but being an outsider I couldn’t help but think of how the ones living it were actually feeling. This in turn led me to seek out my own counseling and advocate for holistic healing for our communities. Oftentimes, intermediary organizations are so hyper-focused on the material needs and not the emotional. We don’t take the time to sit with people and say “how are you? What do you need? How can I help?” Instead, it’s “fill this form, go to this place, get registered here” etc. There are so many needs that go unreported and swept under the rug. I think it’s important that all incoming asylum seekers have full access to safety and wellness checks. I know firsthand that there are histories of violence, sexual abuse, and addiction just to name a few that many of our families are too scared to talk about or ask help for.
I am also very passionate about critical race theory, a practice that combats and resists structural racism, acknowledging that it is not biologically real, but socially constructed. American Bar Association states, “It critiques how the social construction of race and institutionalized racism perpetuate a racial caste system that relegates people of color to the bottom tiers.” (source: https://www.americanbar.org/) Advocating for racial allyship, and undoing anti-blackness and white saviorism in the Southeast Asian American community is deeply personal to me. Within my own family, I’ve witnessed my mother bleach her own skin, and others tell me to stay out of the sun for fear of getting too dark. Another family member questioned my marriage -- telling me it was going to be an added struggle for me to be with a Black man. It’s discouraging that even within our own cultural context, there is so much hate and self sabotage to unlearn. Colorism, tribalism, classism... the list goes on. I believe if we cannot overcome these toxic behaviors within our own community then we cannot be a vessel for social change against the broader world.
4. What social, economic/financial or cultural barriers did you encounter? And how did you overcome them (if at all)?
All of them. I grew up low-middle class. My grandparents (my dad's sponsors) raised me as they got legal custody of me at 18. It was a very traditional household in terms of gender roles. Grandpa went to work, grandma stayed home. I never felt like I lacked anything in the home but as soon as I stepped out there was so much confusion with my cultural identity. People stared and asked questions. My grandparents would joke or shrug it off and I never really understood why I lived with them over my biological parents. My parents moved away and left me behind to explore better job opportunities and knew they couldn’t provide for me in the way their sponsors could. I felt abandoned not only by them but by an entire race I knew nothing about. My grandparents weren’t able to teach me about my identity and I remember the deep shame I had about being Asian. There was so much internalized racism. I found myself saying that I wanted to be white.
My connection to the Asian culture was either at church or our once-a-month-on-payday outing to our friend's Thai restaurant. This was the only real touchpoint I had growing up. I would go to my Asian friends' houses and longed to have the cultural traditions they had. Although I looked like them, I was different, having been raised by white people. I almost identify more with transracial adoptees. As I got older, my grandfather fell ill and my grandma had to go to work for the first time in 40 years. They filed bankruptcy and we lost our house and assets. My grandma was making minimum wage working in the office at one of our church businesses and she could barely put food on the table. We would go to the food bank every month and I’d often remove the labels before friends came over so they didn’t know where it came from. There’d be days where our electricity got cut off or we had no money for lunch. I’d even go to school without anything and pretend that I “forgot” my lunch and mooch off my friends. No one really knew how difficult my financial situation was at home and to be honest if I hadn't struggled so much in my past, I don’t think I’d be as resilient as I am today. I hate to glorify resilience, but unfortunately, that’s a trait most of us have been forced into.
"To be honest, I still struggle. It hasn’t been an easy or traditional path but struggling from a young age has taught me to be self-sufficient. I have faith that things always work themselves out and they usually do. "
I’ve always juggled multiple jobs at once. Around 14, I started earning my own money to help offload my grandparents responsibilities. I eventually moved out when I was 17 and have mostly been on my own since. I didn’t have the opportunity to graduate from college because I had to work three jobs while going to school. I’ve never received financial support from my family because they couldn't afford it -- my mom was widowed when I was 10 years old and barely has a high school education. My father died from Hepatitis B, which unfortunately took the lives of many Southeast Asians. Academics was not encouraged in our household. It wasn’t even on my mother’s radar. Survival was the most important asset and she taught me the value of hard work.
To be honest, I still struggle. It hasn’t been an easy or traditional path but struggling from a young age has taught me to be self-sufficient. I have faith that things always work themselves out and they usually do.
5. What are your thoughts on mental health?How do you perform self-care? What has helped you?
I am a huge proponent for therapy, and know this is something that is shunned in our culture. I want to be able to see more Southeast Asian American mental health workers/providers/advocates because it is so desperately needed. I want myself and others who look like me to not carry the shame of our ancestors or learn how to cope with our own traumas. Asian American women have one of the highest suicide rates, and most have been culturally conditioned to “save face” or to submit and keep quiet. This is so damaging, and my generation is here to say NO MORE!
I’ve been going to talk therapy for about 3 years now, and my only regret is that I didn’t start sooner. I’ve learned so much about myself and the burdens I carried and how to sit with them before (healthily) releasing them. In addition to therapy, I get regular acupuncture and massage treatments, and I love to be in nature, especially in water. I would live on the beach if I could. It’s where I find peace, just listening to the waves and the vastness of it all -- realizing that you’re just a small drop and that the world and its purpose is much bigger than you. This usually helps me to re-center and remind me that my shit ain’t all that bad.
My husband is also my best friend and my foundation. Without him and our plant babies I’d probably be curled up in a ball somewhere crying. Which I’ve been known to do.
6. What resources or role models/ representation did you wish you had growing up?
I wish I had access to everything I do today. I wish that family therapy was introduced and encouraged as my parents settled into a new country. I remember the first Asian faces I saw in the media were Margaret Cho and Miss Swan, and it brought even more shame seeing the caricatures they played. Not having a strong Asian female figure to look up to until my late teens was really discouraging.
"Learn your history. Be proud of where you came from. Be gentle on yourself. You are enough."
I hardly ever saw positive role models and unfortunately, my family didn’t have the tools to teach me. I think it's important to have our faces and narratives centered in not only academic settings but also in the community; our sports coaches, our church leaders, and our government. Thankfully in larger cities, this is becoming more commonplace but on the outskirts, the US is still fairly homogenous and not always open minded.
7. What would you like to say to young SEAAs that you wish you heard growing up?
Learn your history. Be proud of where you came from. Be gentle on yourself. You are enough.
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